I'm going to ramble on here for a bit, read if you like.

I will one day have a dark mark tattoo- I know this, I decided it many years ago, but I don't think I've ever explained why. Besides the usual 'I love Harry Potter' deal, that is.

The two characters I identify most with are Draco Malfoy and Severus Snape, I know most people would think otherwise if you know me in real life, but this is the truth and I'll tell you why.

Severus Snape is decidedly not very nice person: he's rude to Harry all throughout school, he's rude and sarcastic to even Dumbledore, and he joined up with Voldemort. I understand why he did all of those things, and if things went for me as they did for him I probably would have made the same mistakes.

Calling Lily a mudblood was a slip of the tongue, to spend all of your time around people who think and speak this way you at least begin to have thoughts similar because you're constantly surrounded by it- think Stockholm syndrome, you begin to sympathise with the ones who keep you captive. Severus was not thinking 'what can I say to hurt her' he was thinking 'what can I say to get Potter away, get him to leave me alone; anything is better than this humiliation.' As a Slytherin he is ambitious to a fault, and what can one accomplish with a ruined reputation? Let alone what his housemates, the people he had to spend his nights around, would do to him for embarrassing their house. He already had to prove himself to his housemates for being a halfblood, of course he was probably already stressed beyond belief by the time this event came around.

The very moment he realised what he'd said he attempted to apologise, he tried so hard to take back what he said and she would have none of it. She avoided him from then on in, seemingly unremorseful, and in an instant he had lost his only friend and the woman he loved in one go. She began to hang out with the Marauders, Potter supposedly having changed, and then she began to date Potter.

That was the straw that broke him.

If the person who spent your 7 years of school treating you like shit, embarrassing you in front of the girl you've been in love with since you were very young, pushing to your edge causing you to lose her, beating you up, teasing you for things that you cannot help, attacking you because you exist, and all the while getting away with it without so much as a slap on the wrist for their actions ended up dating the woman you are in love with, wouldn't you feel lost? Wouldn't you feel ashamed, without purpose, alone, and needing a distraction? Needing something, anything, to keep you going?

That distraction, that 'anything,' was the Death Eaters.

His housemates already thought they were the bees knees, and Severus was in need of friends and a distraction, so why not? He had no one to impress, no one to live for now that his love wouldn't even look at him, so with nothing but his ambitions to aide him he joined Voldemort. Someone with so much power had to be able to help you achieve your goals, and after the damage Lily did by abandoning him and marrying Potter and the way Petunia had always treated him of course there had to be some distaste for muggleborns and muggles. He was too in love with Lily to truly hate her but muggleborns were fair game.

The Dark Mark became forever emblazoned on his skin.

He heard the prophecy, knowing that if Dumbledore was there it could be important, and immediately reported the little he heard to the Dark Lord. Being a halfblood he knew he was lower than the rest, had little resource to offer his Lord, little to offer outside of his Potions expertise- which anyone could accomplish with time; if this was valuable enough he would be of real use and could accomplish something.

How was he to know that it would mean his Lily?

The moment Severus realised his Lily was at stake he went to Dumbledore begging for him to save her. Yes, he asked the Dark Lord but of course he wouldn't actually do what he promised- she was too stubborn to let Voldemort attack her child- Severus knew his Lily well enough to know that. So he begged Dumbledore to save her, changing his plea to the entire family when he realised that Dumbledore would not separate them, and offered everything he had in exchange- his very soul if he should need it.

And he might as well have asked for it.

Severus trusted Dumbledore for whatever he was worth to keep her safe, he would do anything to keep his Lily safe, and so he spied on his once Lord and Master. Voldemort lost his allegiance the moment the name Potter left his lips, not for James for he would gladly see him dead, because it would be the end of Lily. Sure she was off having a happy life with Potter of all people and probably hadn't thought of him in years but she was alive and that was all that mattered to him. He was too in love with her, even with what she had done to him after his slip of the tongue.

And then she died.

His reason for living died. Lily, his Lily, the one he had shown the wonders of magic to, the woman he loved with his entire being was gone. And there was nothing he could do to fix it, nothing he could do to help it and no chance for him to ever see her again, even from a distance.

And it was all his fault.

He had to live for the rest of his life knowing that he was the reason that the love of his now meaningless existence was no longer there. The self loathing was evident, even as he broke down after confronting Dumbledore about his failure to keep his promise he wished that he was dead instead, but could do nothing about it. Even taking his own life was out of the question, and he knew this.

He had sold himself to Dumbledore as spy, teacher, Potioneer, anything he could need- he had said 'anything' when Dumbledore asked what he would offer him, and because of this deal he was obligated to stay alive. Obligated to remain in a world where his Lily did not exist because of his own foolish mistakes. Mistakes that he would be constantly reminded of every time his left arm was bared; the Dark Mark now symbolised the death of Lily.

And then Dumbledore tasked him with the watching of Potter's child. The same blasted Potter who had caused him so much pain, the same blasted Potter that had pushed him to the point of snapping and losing Lily, the same blasted Potter that had dared to save his life when that idiot Black had sent him into the Willow, the same blasted Potter that had then married Lily, the same blasted Potter that was bane of his existence. He now had to watch over the immortal proof that she had forgotten him and instead had loved his tormentor.

And he would.

Dumbledore knew he would, because as much as he hated Potter and as much as he hated Black and as much as he hated that werewolf Lupin and as much as he hated that simpleton Pettigrew this was still Lily's child. Lily's blood went through this child's veins, Lily's eyes were set into that child's face; Lily, the last remnant of Lily in the world, was in this Child. He would not let her sacrifice, her death that was caused by him, be in vain. He would risk everything for this child's safety. Because the Dark Lord would return, Dumbledore said, and like it or not he had no choice to believe so.

Severus became bitter.

He did not sympathise with the children, he did not treat the elders as equals, he had no reason to. He was a teacher of a dangerous subject that could kill if done incorrectly, if fear was the only way to keep them alive then so be it. He became bitter having no friends, no reason to live besides his duty, and spending every day with beings who did not understand the hardships of life and only reminded him each day of what he had lost. Of his Lily. He spent years doing this until it was time for the Potter child to start at Hogwarts.

And then Severus saw him.

Before Harry's first year at Hogwarts Snape had not needed to see the Potter boy, only knew that he existed and that he had Lily's eyes according to Dumbledore. When Harry was called for the sorting his mind went through everything, the simple mention of that name called all of his worst memories forth, he didn't dare look up. But when he did he couldn't help but sneer, unable to take his eyes off him.

He looked just like Potter- and having been raised by Petunia he must act like him too.

Lily's eyes be damned, he could see nothing but Potter in this child. He knew he had to protect the boy, he knew he had to because of those eyes that he swore could see into his blackened soul. He couldn't be nice to him, as head of Slytherin he had a reputation and many of the children in his house were those of Death Eaters- if he was to return to spying when the Dark Lord returned he had to still be seen as a Dark sympathiser.

So we know what happens from here and how he acts. If anyone has a reason to dislike Potter it's him, if anyone has a reason to be rude it's him; and I would have done exactly the same thing. If something put me in this position I would feel the same, if I had the past he did I would feel and act the same, I am too much like Snape and empathise too much with him to ignore and it's important.

His part in my getting a dark mark tattoo is that it will remind me of what he lost and make me cherish the one I'm in love with more. It will remind me of his mistakes and how to avoid making similar ones. It will symbolise love and happiness and loyalty and learning for me because of Snape.

Draco Malfoy is someone most people judge on first look instead of thinking about him. He's been raised in a pureblood household with no one but other purebloods for company and has been raised with Death Eater ideals by Death Eater parents. He doesn't know better than to look down on the Weasley's, to insult those of lesser blood purity, and think Dumbledore's an old fool with stupid ideals. It's how he was raised; it takes a miracle to think beyond what parents teach (something that Sirius had, apparently) and he didn't get that miracle.

Draco loved his parents.

Draco wanted nothing more than to impress his parents; what kid doesn't want to make their parents proud? He tried to make friends with Potter, and when he got turned down for a Weasley he made him into an enemy instead- he wouldn't associate with a Weasley because that's what he'd been told was wrong. He followed his parents blindly, as most children do, and his beliefs were only strengthened by the friends he had already and the friends he made in Slytherin.

He made some bad choices.

He ended up with a dark mark, branded forever for the mistakes of his father, with pride already so bruised that he refused to ask for help. He had to kill the symbol of peace, light, and stability in the wizarding world. He put up a false bravado of not needing help, he half heartedly attempted his task all the while knowing that if he didn't accomplish this he and his family would be killed. He did this, accepted his task and tried to accomplish it though he knew he would fail, for his family. In the Astronomy Tower Dumbledore suggested an out, a way to save both he AND his family, and he almost took it. The wand had been lowered, Dumbledore still defenceless, and before anything more could be said the other Death Eaters had arrived. Snape killed Dumbledore in Draco's stead, and with that done his only hope for escaping his fate as a branded man was destroyed.

Draco Malfoy never wanted to kill.

Malfoy was constantly afraid, his father back from Azkaban and Voldemort living in his house while his mother just wanted him alive (displayed when she lies to Voldemort when she discovers that Draco is alive from Harry in the final battle). His father is slightly unhinged from his stint in Azkaban, still a Voldemort fanatic and desperate to see his son useful to the Dark Lord. Draco doesn't want this. He agreed with the ideas of muggles being stupid, of purebloods being the superior ones, but he never signed up for being a murderer. The true horrors of war were frightening, he was but a child being thrust into the adult world based on teachings that he was slowly acknowledging to be flimsy at best. He did not have the conviction or the insanity necessary to enjoy the Dark Lord.

So he lied when Potter ended up in his house.

He said he couldn't be sure, he evaded answering anything about anyone else, and then he had to hear the sound of his classmate being tortured. He was not brave, that was a Gryffindor thing, he was weak and scared and unable to find a way out without dying. Who wants to die? He remained where he was, scared and basically alone, because he had to keep up appearances for his family's sake. He made stupid choices, but the way he was raised and his love for his family led him to them.

That's why Draco Malfoy is important to me.

He did everything for his family, not for pleasure, but for flesh and blood that had cared for him as long as he had existed. What loyalty he was supposed to give the Dark Lord was not there if his family was in danger. They came first- he joined for them, he attempted things he shouldn't have had to attempt for them, and he nearly died for them and their views of the Dark Lord.

I've made lots of stupid choices, some for family. For Draco, my dark mark will remind me of his love and loyalty for his family, what he did to keep them alive and the sacrifices he made for them and the risks he took while still trying to keep them alive. It will remind me that no matter how bad my situation is I can still try to make things better with what small things I can do.

-- Yes I know that I wrote more on Snape than on Malfoy but we have much more development on Snape than Malfoy and he's the one I identify more with.--

And for people who say that Harry was just a boy, we need to remember that though they were the same age he had something Draco did not. He had real friends. Draco Malfoy had minions, bodyguards, girls after his money and people with him for political reasons within the Death Eater ranks, he didn't have friends the way Harry did. He didn't have people who would support him no matter what, that he could go to when he needed someone there (as displayed in HBP when he goes to Myrtle's bathroom instead of the commonroom when he feels overwhelmed) he had only himself.

Harry was brave and curious, foolish and put into a lot of situations that he should not have been in, but he had people to lean on. He was unsure of himself but had people to help him. Draco had been raised with an ego, a sense of superiority, and had allies instead of friends. He was not brave, he was cunning and resourceful; he did not have the gall to look into something personally he had minions to do things for him.  Draco Malfoy has different circumstances that make him incomparable to Harry. Yes, they were the same age and thrust into situations they didn't need but that's where the similarities end.

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